Born on a mountain top in southern North Central Iowa, Travis J. Olson was always destined for greatness. In his school days, he would dream of being a world class surfer. Stuck inside a small Iowa grade school, he would often look out the window at the ocean as his teacher went on about things like the importance of paying attention or something like that, it doesn't matter anyway, his mind was set on taming the waves. His long surfer hair would blow in the wind as he would imagine doing cool surfer dude things, like Keanu Reeves did in the hit 1991 movie "Point Break", only without all the crime and guns and police stuff. Well, maybe some of the crime. But alas, it was not to be. His parents refused to buy him a surfboard. Something about living in Iowa and also not knowing anything about surfing.
With his heart broken, he spent his high school days in a small town Iowa high school with a new dream. This time, to become the best ping pong player the world had ever seen. He could be found walking around town with his paddle and a ball always at his side. Just like Forrest Gump in the hit 1994 movie "Forrest Gump", only without Vietnam and all of the running but with the Dr. Pepper. However, he lacked the hand-eye dexterity that it took to become a ping pong champion and was quickly and easily vanquished in the Northwest Franklin County 4-H ping pong tournament.
College would open the eyes of this young dreamer even wider. At the University of Northern Iowa, he would see a whole new world unbeknownst to him before but knownst to him now. He met new people, heard of new places, and formed a new dream. He was going to be the best computer hacker the world had ever seen. He was going to do things previously unheard of in the computer world. And he was going to use these hacking skills to bring down the corporations and expose the truth to the masses, just like Keanu Reeves in the hit 1999 movie, "The Matrix", only without the guns and that bendy thing where you can dodge bullets. However, it was then that he realized he didn't own a good computer and his typing skills were subpar to put it mildly.
So he moved to southern Iowa looking for a career that would give him everything he ever longed for, and more. He began teaching at a small school in Diagonal, Iowa that was a well known hub on the international underground illegal street racing circuit. The dreams of wealth and riches that went along with the small town Iowa international underground illegal street racing lifestyle were too much and soon called him to join the lifestyle, just like Vin Diesel in the hit 2001 movie "The Fast and the Furious", only without the stolen VCR's and DVD players. However, it was soon obvious to him that he owned a 1996 Ford Festiva and was not going to win many races on the small town Iowa international underground illegal street racing circuit. He packed up his surfing cd's, ping pong paddles, his Windows 3.1 computer, and his parking pass for the small town Iowa international underground illegal street racing circuit into the back of his 1996 Ford Festiva and headed off to a place where dreams come true. Some place warm, a place where the nacho cheese flows like Dorothy Lynch, a place where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. A little place called Omaha.
So he embarked on another dream. He was going to be a teacher..........but not just any teacher. No, he was going to be the best substitute music teacher in an affluent suburban school district with questionable background check procedures the world had ever seen. Just like Jack Black in the hit 2003 movie "School of Rock", only without the kidnapping of students to play in an underground battle of the bands concert. However, he did not know how to play the guitar. And substitute teaching is like trying to put 100 kittens into a clothes dryer at once. Sure you might get 10 or 12, but you'll never get all 100. The trick is, to put some cat food in the dryer and then.......... never mind. He was now down to his last $.25 and his last dream.
But they say that a dream is like a river, you must follow where it goes. Actually "they" don't say that. Garth Brooks does in his 1992 hit single "The River". Well this dream led to a small Nebraska town by the name of Ansley. What was his dream you may ask? Maybe it is to become the best dinosaur wrangler in the world like Chris Pratt in the hit 2015 movie "Jurassic World". But dinosaurs are hard to control. Harder than cats even! Have you ever tried to stuff 100 cats into a clothes dryer? Oh, yeah. We covered that. Maybe it was to command all of the creatures of the sea like Jason Momoa in the hit 2018 movie "Aquaman". But he can't swim, and fish are judgmental, so probably not. Maybe it was his dream to write long biographies of people, full of run-on sentences that are obviously going nowhere and pretty much exist only to waste the time of the people who have read this far? No, I am pretty sure his last dream is to get to work with the great kids at Ansley Public Schools everyday. And that, would make a great movie!
With his heart broken, he spent his high school days in a small town Iowa high school with a new dream. This time, to become the best ping pong player the world had ever seen. He could be found walking around town with his paddle and a ball always at his side. Just like Forrest Gump in the hit 1994 movie "Forrest Gump", only without Vietnam and all of the running but with the Dr. Pepper. However, he lacked the hand-eye dexterity that it took to become a ping pong champion and was quickly and easily vanquished in the Northwest Franklin County 4-H ping pong tournament.
College would open the eyes of this young dreamer even wider. At the University of Northern Iowa, he would see a whole new world unbeknownst to him before but knownst to him now. He met new people, heard of new places, and formed a new dream. He was going to be the best computer hacker the world had ever seen. He was going to do things previously unheard of in the computer world. And he was going to use these hacking skills to bring down the corporations and expose the truth to the masses, just like Keanu Reeves in the hit 1999 movie, "The Matrix", only without the guns and that bendy thing where you can dodge bullets. However, it was then that he realized he didn't own a good computer and his typing skills were subpar to put it mildly.
So he moved to southern Iowa looking for a career that would give him everything he ever longed for, and more. He began teaching at a small school in Diagonal, Iowa that was a well known hub on the international underground illegal street racing circuit. The dreams of wealth and riches that went along with the small town Iowa international underground illegal street racing lifestyle were too much and soon called him to join the lifestyle, just like Vin Diesel in the hit 2001 movie "The Fast and the Furious", only without the stolen VCR's and DVD players. However, it was soon obvious to him that he owned a 1996 Ford Festiva and was not going to win many races on the small town Iowa international underground illegal street racing circuit. He packed up his surfing cd's, ping pong paddles, his Windows 3.1 computer, and his parking pass for the small town Iowa international underground illegal street racing circuit into the back of his 1996 Ford Festiva and headed off to a place where dreams come true. Some place warm, a place where the nacho cheese flows like Dorothy Lynch, a place where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. A little place called Omaha.
So he embarked on another dream. He was going to be a teacher..........but not just any teacher. No, he was going to be the best substitute music teacher in an affluent suburban school district with questionable background check procedures the world had ever seen. Just like Jack Black in the hit 2003 movie "School of Rock", only without the kidnapping of students to play in an underground battle of the bands concert. However, he did not know how to play the guitar. And substitute teaching is like trying to put 100 kittens into a clothes dryer at once. Sure you might get 10 or 12, but you'll never get all 100. The trick is, to put some cat food in the dryer and then.......... never mind. He was now down to his last $.25 and his last dream.
But they say that a dream is like a river, you must follow where it goes. Actually "they" don't say that. Garth Brooks does in his 1992 hit single "The River". Well this dream led to a small Nebraska town by the name of Ansley. What was his dream you may ask? Maybe it is to become the best dinosaur wrangler in the world like Chris Pratt in the hit 2015 movie "Jurassic World". But dinosaurs are hard to control. Harder than cats even! Have you ever tried to stuff 100 cats into a clothes dryer? Oh, yeah. We covered that. Maybe it was to command all of the creatures of the sea like Jason Momoa in the hit 2018 movie "Aquaman". But he can't swim, and fish are judgmental, so probably not. Maybe it was his dream to write long biographies of people, full of run-on sentences that are obviously going nowhere and pretty much exist only to waste the time of the people who have read this far? No, I am pretty sure his last dream is to get to work with the great kids at Ansley Public Schools everyday. And that, would make a great movie!